Good morning,
I have a wiener dog named Meyer who has a lot of anxiety when it comes to meeting new people.
This shows up as him being very reactive and barking at people, both out in public and when someone comes to visit my house.
Like always, when I need help with something, I do my research to see what type of help is available and then find an expert in the field to help me.
Last week Meyer and I (because really it’s me who needs to be trained how to help him) had our first session with the dog trainer.
She was brilliant for so many reasons.
I met with her alone before bringing Meyer upstairs and we discussed all the different ways we can set Meyer up for success and help him manage his anxiety and be less reactive (loud) when people are around.
I really liked this concept – instead of just letting Meyer run upstairs and freak out on her, I brought him up, on a leash and kept him at a safe distance from her, thereby setting him up for success instead of failure.
She was throwing some treats in his direction while speaking with me in a calm manner. Meyer (who adores food) ate the treats and was silent. He even wagged his tail a little. Slowly he moved closer to her and continued to eat the treats.
We were setting him up for success because we took time in advance to create a plan and decide what strategies we would use with him. Of course we still have a long way to go, but I’m very hopeful that if I continue to set Meyer up for success as we use strategies for his anxiety, that overtime he won’t be so scared of new people.
I really enjoyed my conversation with her, because it was so similar to what I do with patients who have anxiety each day.
I think sometimes I am too quick to jump to strategies without having a good discussion around setting people up for success.
Humans need to have compassion for their struggles as well and set themselves up for success.
Here are three ways to set yourself up for success:
1) Get as much information as you can about what you are dealing with whether it’s anxiety, stress, depression, grief, anger or relationship issues.
Check out reputable websites and read books on the subject. What works for one person may not work for you. Recognize that you may need to try a few strategies before you find the ones that will work for you.
2) Begin to pay attention to your daily experience with this issue. I often use a tracking log with my patients where I ask them to track their experience each day.
If they are struggling with anxiety I ask them to track each time they notice their anxiety increase throughout the day. This way we can begin to understand what are the main triggers.
Once we know a trigger, we can use other strategies to help set them up for success around that trigger in the future.
3) Once you are tracking what your trigger is, you can also track how you coped with it. Maybe you went for a walk, did some deep breathing or did some journalling. Or maybe you chose to numb out on Nextflix, withdrawal from people or turn to food/alcohol.
Try new strategies that you’ve learned from your research or work with an expert to create your own healing plan.
Give this a shot for whatever you are struggling with (anxiety/depression/anger/stress) and you will be on your way to much more personal awareness. And with awareness comes opportunity for change and recovery.
Sending you good energy as you set yourself up for success!
Much gratitude,
Char